The Way It Never Was by Austin Lucy

Author:Austin, Lucy [Austin, Lucy]
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Publisher: Endeavour Press
Published: 2015-09-03T04:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 19 - BLOW THEM OUT

As I help myself to some crisps from the cupboard I’m being eyeballed by Claire, resplendent in full workout gear, with her hair tied back so tightly she’s rocking the Croydon facelift look.

‘Why is your brother coming tonight?’ she moans, banging her water filter down.

Shaking my head, I get out some wine glasses from the cupboard. ‘It’s my birthday Claire.’

Rolling her eyes as though I’m being highly unreasonable, she takes what looks like a rolled up piece of turf out from the oven. A vegan roulade that looks dry enough to insulate my loft. ‘Mmm,’ she sniffs. ‘Doesn’t it smell wonderful? Zero calories you know.’

Despite various ‘allergies’ – and of course, her own brand of vegetarianism that still allows her to eat ham – Claire insists on treating this like any old night and hogging the entire kitchen to make a meal for Scary Linda and Dave, leaving me with little choice but to cook a one-pot wonder.

With my head in the oven attempting to put foil over a boiling dish, I’m hoping that Linda or that boyfriend of hers will move their freeloading arses off the sofa and find out who has rung the doorbell. No such luck. After the third ring, I march down the hallway muttering obscenities to myself and answer the door. Looking a little rough, with designer stubble and a jacket that has seen cleaner days, Dan stands there with his arm outstretched holding a bottle.

‘Happy Birthday sis!’ He leans in and hugs me, hitting me with a stench of something not too pleasant.

‘Dan, you look like George Michael in the ‘Faith’ video,’ I groan, pushing him away.

‘You mock, but I have you know this jacket has seen a lot of action. It’s my lucky jacket.’ The last time I heard that phrase was when Sienna’s Pete was reacting to his ‘lucky jacket’ getting stuck in my guttering. Dan then looks me up and down. ‘Nice apron birthday girl! You’re going all out tonight aren’t you?’ I give him one of my looks before going to check on dinner.

Dan disappears into the lounge and says hello to the others, only to walk straight back into the kitchen. ‘Who are the muppets on the sofa? I thought Liv was going to be here?’ he says, taking the champagne as though to open it.

‘She’s coming,’ I reply. ‘You’re still in the doghouse you know. You had better be charming this time.’ Dan just looks at me and does a sarcastic grin.

Getting the wine out of the freezer where it has been emergency chilling, I pour some out for Dan who declines and waves his bottle at me. ‘Please drink my champagne. It’s your birthday. Let’s get drunk in style.’

My arm doesn’t need twisting twice, so the wine gets poured down the sink and I get out two champagne flutes that are so rarely used, they are covered in a layer of dust. Dan pops open his champagne. Knocking a glass back, he sits down at the kitchen table and does a large burp.

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